Writing nonsense – Zeina was robbed

Who the hell is Zeina? Would she give me a chocolate bar? Would Zeina wash my dirty clothes for me? Well, Zeina experienced an armed robbery. On the street. So, she lost her chocolate bar anyway. It then turns out that it was a mock armed robbery, to test her readiness for crisis situations. In other words, it was a fake armed robbery, the gun wasn’t real, but the fake robber chewed up her chocolate bar nevertheless, as a reward for carrying out the mock armed robbery. While Zeina is very hungry, at home her daddy has a model 572, .22 caliber rifle, which he will give to his mistress Cassandra. Cassandra’s cousin Jacky was jailed for insulting the modesty of women. Woe to him.

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Broken English- anal sex, or ants?

My Czech friend speaks absolutely broken English. I was very puzzled, was he talking about anal sex or ants? Anal sex is not ants, and ants is not anal sex stuff. So… … ?
ants.jpg
He was meaning to talk about jewellery, some earrings- but I heard ‘urine’. Hey, you don’t piss where you attach beautiful sparkly earrings so as to look pretty!

Prague: “Loving Hut” is doing business

Darling,

Oh… … you paid 89 Kc for gnocchi with spinach.

I paid 89 Kc for this big plate of food at “Loving Hut”, Bila Labut. Drinks were included.

I paid the same price, it seems that I got substantially more food, for the money sacrificed! So… were you “stupid”? Hey, “stupid” was the English word coming from you. It’s not an English word from me!

Hey. If you save up 30 Kc here, and 20 Kc there, then, at the end of the month, you may discover you have saved up a pot of money for your son and daughter. Let’s count the money…

On a very hungry day, I spend more than 89 Kc at Loving Hut, that’s more like 170 Kc for one meal. But it’s never going to exceed 190 Kc at Loving Hut, I can’t possibly eat all that much!

The hideous “WhatsApp” mobile phone application

Sent to: Steve

I really did not receive a message yesterday to tell me that your aunt passed away. I certainly would not have written those jovial comments if only I knew. I was aware that my friend died. I wasn’t aware that Aunt died.

Please refer to the records I hold for conversations with you yesterday. [confidential]

It just goes to show that WhatsApp is very unreliable.
That’s why the mobile phone is the type of thing you should toss down into the sea. Mobile phone – is just a piece of shit.

I’m very sorry to hear that your second mum died.

It is as if the WhatsApp phone application played a very cruel prank on you yesterday. It caused you all those additional upsets, and damaged feelings of two friends who really love each other.

In the funeral arrangements that you help with, may I strongly suggest that the post, with a postage stamp and an envelope, is really far more reliable than the WhatsApp mobile phone application on your Huawei phone. People live at their home addresses. They sleep in their houses. They get up in the morning and brush their teeth. It is not WhatsApp and facebook, saying to you that the message was sent off, but I never got the message. Inform the relatives that aunt died, on a piece of paper. Use an envelope, and a postage stamp. It is really a lot better.